The Death Talk

So, at 26, I’m pretty much an adult.  I say pretty much because I definitely don’t feel like a real adult.  I’m still trying to figure out… well… everything.  I don’t have a husband or a house or a mortgage.  I do pay taxes and have health insurance and I know how to do laundry.  I just don’t feel like I’ve actually achieved full adulthood.  Maybe real adulthood is a myth, and you never quite feel like you’ve made it.

A few days ago, however, my parents decided I was grown-up enough to have The Death Talk with me.  Most kids know what The Sex Talk is (by the way, my parents never had that talk with me… they let my fancy private school teach me about the Birds and the Bees), but they never prepare you for The Death Talk.

It basically goes something like this: “We’re getting older and something might happen to us.  Just in case something tragic does happen, we want you to know who to call and what to do so you and your sister don’t have to worry.”

What the adult-kid in question hears though, is something like this: “We’re decrepit and could basically drop dead at any time.”

Needless to say, when they ambushed me with this horrific topic the other day, I was not expecting it at all.  It was so early in the morning and such a shock that I kind of dissolved into this pathetic blubbering mess, which my parents just found absolutely hilarious.  Excuse me, that is not the kind of thing you just spring on a person, especially a person with an already fragile mental state.  I’m a writer.  My mental state is like, just barely there.

I guess a small part of my parents would still like to believe that I am a totally normal human being who can deal with rational discussions about what will one day be inevitable, but sadly, that is just not the case.  Hopefully they have now learned their lesson and will think before they drop a bombshell like, “Oh hey, we might die” on their unsuspecting, unstable daughter.

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9 thoughts on “The Death Talk

  1. Great, another talk I will have to have with my kids. Didn’t think of that one yet by I only recently started receiving my AARP invites in the mail. We did have the sex talk with our oldest teenager though. He already knew it so we focused on safety, making sure the time is right… etc. Great post 🙂

  2. OMG I know what you mean. My parents had that talk with me and my sister when we were teenagers, like early teens! Even letting us know their house is in our names and how we would have to sell it and split the money, and the key for their safe-box etc…
    Psychos!!!!!
    Not a pleasant convo!
    You ever see that King of Queens episode where Doug’s parents want him to sign paperwork for a DNR on his parents? LOL!! Watch it, you will laugh so hard! It makes light of the whole ‘death talk’. I think you NEED to watch it. 🙂 He didn’t handle it so well, but his sister was more than happy to sign it, hehehhee.

  3. Jackie, not only have i had the death talk from my parents who are now deceased, but I have given the death talk. I know it’s terrible when you get to have “the talk”, but i can also see the hilarity in giving it too!!! thoughts are with you! xxx

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