Frozen Fever

This might be the most controversial blog post I’ve ever written, but it is something that I feel needs to be said.  I hope I don’t offend any of my readers or lose any friends over this, but I can’t hold it back anymore.  I’ve got to let it go.

I do not think Frozen is the best Disney animated film of all time.  In fact, I don’t even think it’s in the top ten.

Don’t get me wrong, I like Frozen a lot.  My sister and I saw it together and, since it was about sisters, naturally we both cried and loved it.  Leaving the theater, I remember thinking, “Aw, I like Olaf.  And I like Elsa’s dress.  Definitely a cute story.  I’d see it again.”

But then the hype started.  Suddenly, everyone everywhere was all about Frozen.  Buzzfeed articles, Pinterest boards, list upon list of why Frozen is the best thing Disney has ever done in the history of ever.  I’ve never seen so many YouTube cover videos in my life.  I like Let It Go, but if I hear one more person who ISN’T Idina Menzel trying to sing it, I might just punch someone.  In the face.  With a computer.

Today, the newest Disney short, Frozen Fever was announced and naturally, the Internet is completely losing it over the impending arrival.  I’m not upset about the upcoming short.  I love Disney.  And like I said, I really do like Frozen.  I just like lots of other Disney movies a whole lot more.

Mulan

Let’s begin with my sister’s favorite Disney movie of all time, Mulan.  Mulan ROCKS.  For some reason everyone seems to think that Frozen is this groundbreaking movie that proves that women don’t need a man to save them.  Um, HELLO people.  Mulan saved ALL OF CHINA.  She also saved Captain Shang and her entire army of men like, fifty times.  Mulan also features one of the most iconic Disney songs ever recorded (I’ll Make a Man Out of You), an ingenious script (“I’m doomed! And all because Miss Man decided to take her little drag show on the road!”), and more GIRL POWER than all five of the Spice Girls put together.

The Lion King

Talk about a classic.  Featuring the voice talents of James Earl Jones and Jeremy Irons AND a soundtrack by Sir Elton John, The Lion King is easily one of the best Disney movies out there.  On top of that, it’s based off of Hamlet.  This is Shakespeare with lions and meerkats and Rafiki.  Sorry, Elsa, but you can’t beat that.  And that scene when Mufasa comes back to talk to Simba?  Does anyone NOT tear up at that moment?

“Remember who you are…” 

Brother Bear

This might be one of the most underrated Disney movie of all time, but it also happens to be one of my absolute favorites.  This is just a beautiful story with beautiful animation, a fantastic soundtrack by Phil Collins (one of the best), and so many beautifully bittersweet moments that I never make it through a viewing without crying.  There are also killer whales in it.  HOW can you beat a movie with KILLER WHALES?  It’s one of the most moving Disney films out there if you ask me.

Hercules

Okay, I’ve already dedicated an entire blog post to Hades and how he’s my absolute favorite Disney Villain of all time (https://jackiesmith114.wordpress.com/2014/05/30/why-hades-is-actually-the-best-disney-villain/), but if you ask me, Hercules itself is near the top as far as Disney’s best animated features go.  Greek Mythology is cool.  That is pretty much indisputable.  And Disney took those cool stories and made them bright, colorful, and kid-friendly, all the while keeping them surprisingly historically accurate (speaking as someone who yes, used to watch the animated TV series on Disney Channel).  In my oh so humble opinion, Hercules is one of Disney’s most clever and creative franchises.

Aladdin

It’s hard to think about this one without drawing a few tears, especially due to recent events.  Aladdin truly will never be the same without our beloved Genie, but it has always held a special place in my heart, even before the late, great Robin Williams’ departure.  I loved Aladdin so much as a child that I named my first kitten Jasmine after Princess Jasmine.  She also recently passed and I got a tattoo of Jasmine flowers on my ankle in her honor.  But all that sadness aside, Aladdin is one of the most awesome, colorful, and FUN Disney movies out there.  Heartwarming with high adventure, magic, great music, and probably one of the most charming Disney Princes in history, Aladdin wins all the way around.

The Hunchback of Notre Dame

This is another of my favorite Disney films that is SO completely underrated.  This is a beautiful movie with a touching story, a heartwarming hero, a completely kick-butt heroine, and one of the best soundtracks with some of the best vocal performances that Disney has EVER created.  I could listen to the opening number, Bells of Notre Dame, on repeat.  In fact, I have.  But seriously, let’s talk about Esmeralda for a minute.  She is the BOMB.  She stands up for what she believes in, is brave, smart, snarky, she sees the inner beauty in people, and she sings one of the most beautiful songs in Disney’s repertoire, God Help the Outcasts.

Meet The Robinsons

I feel like a lot of people forget that this is a Disney movie, but again, it is one of my absolute favorites.  I love everything about this movie.  The characters are wonderful, the script is brilliant, and the ending makes me cry every single time I watch it.  It’s such a wonderful film and again, so underrated.  I wish they would make a sequel to this one!  I’d watch it in a heartbeat.

Beauty and the Beast

Of course, this has to be on the list.  It’s the tale as old as time, one of the most beautiful animated classics of all time, and the first ever animated film to be up for an Academy Award for best picture.  I understand that Frozen won a few Academy Awards, but Beauty and the Beast was a film ahead of its time.  And it’s just beautiful.  Is there a scene or a song more beautiful than the ballroom scene?  Or more chilling than the fight between Gaston and the Beast on the roof?  Or more magical than the Beast’s transformation back into a Prince?

Not even close, Frozen.

Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, and Cinderella 

These three are all together because story-wise, none of them are stellar.  However, as far as storytelling and animation goes, these are MASTERPIECES of their time.  The work of GENIUS.  The heroines, true, are not all that much.  In fact, Snow White is dumber than the apple that almost killed her.  But they were all true works of art and will remain historic classics for all time.  These were the movies that broke down barriers, the magic that started it all.  Disney would not be where it is today without the early Princesses.

All of Pixar.  Ever.

True, these are not just the work of Disney, but Finding Nemo, Monsters Inc, Toy Story, UP, all rise above and beyond Frozen in terms of pretty much everything.

Finally, the Best of All…

THE LITTLE MERMAID

I think I’ve made it pretty clear how I feel about The Little Mermaid, but if anyone doesn’t know, you can just check out this blog post here…

https://jackiesmith114.wordpress.com/2014/02/23/under-the-sea/

Growing up, I truly believed that Ariel was one of my best friends.  I loved everything about The Little Mermaid, and to this day, I can’t hear the opening theme without getting the chills.  Ariel was absolutely my hero growing up.  She was beautiful, she was brave, she followed her heart even when everyone else thought she was weird, and she ALSO saved her Prince (eh-hem… did not need a man to rescue her).  And she was a mermaid and come on, what little girl didn’t want to be a mermaid?  Not to mention Ariel got three movies, her own television series, AND her own Broadway musical.  I think it’s pretty clear that she is the ultimate winner of best Disney Princess ever.

So, that’s just to name a few of the movies which, in my opinion, beat out Frozen as far as best Disney animated classics go.  I didn’t even get to all of them. Tarzan, Atlantis, and Princess and the Frog are also on the list. But I’m afraid if I type any more, my computer might actually explode.

Frozen was great.  Again, I’m not trying to say it wasn’t.  But when I look back and really compare it to other Disney films, I’m afraid it pales in comparison.

Why Hades is Actually the Best Disney Villain

Maleficent, the movie that Disney nerds far and wide have been anticipating for months is finally here.  I have not yet seen the movie, but its release, of course, has got me thinking about Disney Villains.  From what I’ve heard about the movie, it explores the backstory the self-proclaimed Mistress of All Evil and includes a lot of CGI.

In the spirit of celebrating Evil Disney Characters, I thought I’d pay a little tribute to my favorite Disney Villain of all time, Hades, Lord of the Dead.

This guy is just the best.  True, I have a slight bias because I’m also a huge fan of Greek Mythology, but even if I didn’t, Hades would still be one of my favorites.  From his awesome fiery blue hair to his sassy sense of humor to his tendency to call everybody “Babe,” Hades just rules.  And he knows it.

If you need any more reasons to be Team Hades, look at the facts.  This guy is a god.  That means he can’t die.  He can’t be defeated.  EVER.  Yeah, at the end of Hercules, we see him being flushed away in the River Styx, but he’s immortal.  He runs the Underworld.  And mortals are always going to die.  He might hit a few bumps in the road, but he’s going to have the last laugh in the end.

Also, his hatred of his brother, Zeus, is totally justified.  True, in the original myth, Hades, Zeus, and Poseidon drew lots for their roles, but in the Disney movie, Hades is assigned to the Underworld by Zeus.  What a lousy gig!  Not only does he have to deal with all those dead people, he has to be bossed around by his baby brother?!  Yes, Zeus is the youngest of the five children of Kronos and Rhea.  Not only is Zeus Hades’ little brother, he’s also absolutely terrible at what he does.  He is he the ruler of all the Gods, the God of the entire Universe, and he can’t even keep track of his own kid?  Come on. Seriously, that guy is a tool.  Hades, you deserve to be the King of Olympus.

Don’t even get me started on how all the other jack-wagon gods treat him.  They treat this poor guy like he’s got some kind of disease!  It’s not his fault that he’s the Lord of the Dead and that death happens to be the one thing that mortals fear above all else!  He’s just playing the hand he was dealt… BY ZEUS.

Just because Hades is the best Disney Villain, however, doesn’t mean he’s alone on his pedestal.  There are other Disney Villains who are (almost) just as totally awesome.

Scar, for example, is a close second in my book.  Not only is he voiced by the agelessly sexy Jeremy Irons, he also gets the best song in the history of Disney Villainness.  “Be Prepared” is so sinister and yet so catchy, you can’t help but root for him, even though you hate him for plotting to kill Mufasa.  Mufasa, unlike Zeus, was actually the best King ever.

Since we’re on the topic of Villains that are Also Big Cats, let’s talk about Shere Khan.

I love this guy!  Growing up, I never understood why he was the bad guy.  Yeah, he tried to attack Mowgli, but he’s a tiger!  Tigers aren’t supposed to be tame.  They’re supposed to be regal and ferocious and wild.  We’d all be disappointed if he was Mowgli’s friend like Bagheera.  I mean, I love Bagheera too, but he’s nowhere near as cool as Shere Khan.  In fact, Bagheera is kind of a stick-in-the-mud, which I think Baloo might even point out at one point.

You know who’s not a stick-in-the-mud though?  Gaston.

Yes, he’s a jerk who borders on misogynistic, but when you think about it, Belle is literally the only person in the entire village who doesn’t like Gaston and, as they all keenly point out, she’s kind of weird.  The townspeople even sing an entire song about how great he is!  And if we’re being honest, the Beast isn’t really any less of a jerk.  Heck, he was turned into a BEAST because he was a spoiled brat.  I don’t see any enchantresses showing up to turn Gaston into an animal.

Speaking of enchanters…

Jafar is pretty darn evil, and he’s pretty darn good at it.  For a little while, he actually gets everything he set out to achieve.  He even gets a kiss from Jasmine, which is farther than any other Villain has ever gotten (true, Hans was engaged to Anna, but he never got to be King.  Besides, my sister and I aren’t ENTIRELY convinced he’s all evil… but that’s a whole other post).  He also gets the best sidekick ever in Iago, the snarky parrot.  No, Sultan, he doesn’t want the stupid cracker.  You’re not a very good ruler either.  Or a very good Dad for that matter.  Who keeps their kid under house arrest for 16 years?  I’m surprised she hadn’t tried to run away before you started forcing all those men on her.

Taking it back a few generations, we have the greatest Disney Villain that Neverland has ever known, Captain Hook.

He’s nowhere near attractive like Colin O’Donoghue’s sexy pirate, but the classic Hook is still a pretty cool villain.  He’s got a great ship, a kickin’ outfit, and really, who can blame him for wanting to shoot Peter Pan?  He chopped his hand off and fed it to a freaking crocodile!  Besides, Peter Pan is kind of a twerp.

Finally, the award for my favorite Disney Villain in recent years goes to the Shadow Man, Dr. Facilier.

This guy is just cool, if you ignore the fact that he’s a total schemer and sells his soul to the creepy shadow demons just to earn a few extra bucks.  But seriously, he’s got the top hat, he’s got the cane, and he’s got the snazzy jacket.  And he’s got a great voice (the incomparable Keith David).  No arguments, this guy has got style.  And if we’re being honest, Prince Naveen was kind of an easy target.  I’d probably try to scam him too if I was a Villain.

The. End.