The Space Between Us

Hi, friends!

Wow, it’s been a while, hasn’t it?  I’m sorry.  That was a semi-conscious decision.  There’s just been so much negativity in our world and on TV and on social media and emotions have been running so high that, for my own sanity, I had to take a step back.

January was a pretty big month.  I turned 29.  I got some work done.  I’m in the middle of writing the fourth Boy Band book called Spotlight.  And I’m working on a new standalone book as well!  And let me tell you, I’m having so much fun.

I’ve also seen a few wonderful movies in the past few months.  The first of which was Moana.  I love Disney.  I love the ocean.  Naturally, I loved Moana.  But God, that movie made me bawl.  I’m not kidding you.  I was weeping.  The last Disney movie to make me cry like that was The Lion King.

Then there was Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them. 

Y’all.

Y’all.

Oh my God.

I didn’t write a review for this movie because I literally have nothing to say other than it’s perfect.  Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them is a perfect movie.  Everything about it is perfect.  Everything.

Newt is perfect.

The Niffler is perfect.

The score is perfect.

The costumes are perfect.

The magic is perfect.

Colin Farrell is perfect.

The subtle Harry Potter references are perfect.

Jakweenie is perfect.

PERFECT MOVIE IS PERFECT.

I could go on forever about how much I love this movie and the cast and the fact that it’s so much better than the eight Harry Potter movies (not books) and all my fan conspiracy theories and my borderline unhealthy love for Colin Farrell… But I’ll spare you.  Just know that I have never been more blissfully enraptured by a movie before and I doubt I will be again.

Well, at least until the second installment.

All that being said, I do have a new movie review for you, one in which I am not quite so emotionally invested as Disney or Harry Potter.

I’ve been wanting to see The Space Between Us since I first saw the trailer.  It looked exactly like my kind of sci-fi movie: a sappy teenage flick with a love story and a road trip.  The reviews weren’t exactly love letters.  Several critics pointed out that the science, the physics, the math, the technology was all ludicrous.  It could never work.  But you know what?  As a writer and as a movie-goer, I don’t go to see movies for their mathematical or scientific accuracy.  I go to be entertained.  I go for a story.  And come on.  It’s fiction.  I know this kid didn’t actually grow up on Mars.  I know I have to suspend belief for a while if I’m going to go see a movie like this.  Besides, as a person with a very, very basic understanding of physics and space travel and technology and what-not… I’m not going to know the difference.

I mean, my grandfather probably would have known the difference.  But I bet he also would have thought it was a cute story.  So whatever.

However, after reading all the negative reviews, I’ll admit that I second-guessed my eagerness to see the movie.  But then I read a review that called it “Nicholas Sparks type garbage” and I knew then that I would enjoy it.  For those of you who don’t know me, Nicholas Sparks type garbage is totally my kind of garbage.

So, without further ado…

Thoughts on The Space Between Us

SPOILER WARNING! 

• You couldn’t pay me enough to go into space.
• Of course they’d call this colony in the middle of dusty nowhere East Texas.
• Why is Gary Oldman kind of hot as an old space geek?
• He wasn’t even hot as Sirius Black. And Sirius Black is supposed to be hot.
• Okay, I’m glad this kid grew up with other people.  For some reason, I was really concerned that he grew up on Mars alone.
• Ugh Britt Robertson. I can’t stand her. I don’t know why. I’m sure she’s a lovely person. But as an actress, she’s like the human embodiment of nails on a chalkboard to me.
• Also, she was born in 1990 and she’s playing a 17-year-old.
• Oh look, she’s playing a song she wrote on the piano to show us how deep and vulnerable she is.
• Gag me.
• Gardener going through his post-puberty-rebellious stage on Mars.
• BD Wong, why aren’t you taking care of your dinosaurs?
• Somehow, surrogate space mom persuades BD Wong that bringing this kid back to Earth is a good idea despite his enlarged heart and brittle bones.
• I’m actually really happy that Gardener gets to go to Earth but I’m already stressed out because I’ve seen the previews and I know his heart isn’t going to survive.
• Stressful Martian kids.
• Okay, Gardener is actually adorable.  Talking with that old homeless guy.  He’s so awkward and sweet.  I love him.
• That guy on the bus is pretty much everyone in the entire world when strangers attempt to strike up conversations.
• Gardener walking awkwardly into school.  God, he’s so cute.
• Ugh, Britt Robertson, you’re such a little brat.
• Tulsa.  What kind of a weird name is Tulsa?  I don’t even care that that’s the city she was abandoned in or whatever.  Sadly, I don’t even care that she was abandoned because she’s just that annoying.
• Gardener walking into class and being adorable.  Can’t we just have a whole movie of him being awkward?  It would be much better without Tulsa’s tragic backstory.  Maybe I’d feel more sorry for her if the beautiful foster daughter who seems edgy on the outside but is actually loving with a beautiful spirit on the inside wasn’t SO overdone.  And often, so poorly executed.
• Okay, I know I said that I was going to suspend disbelief going into this movie, but that was for the Mars stuff.  I don’t, for one second, believe this chick knows how to fly an old crop-duster plane.  No way.
• Oh yeah, teenagers survive small aircraft crashes all the time.
• Wow, these kids get away with a LOT of grand theft auto.
• Tulsa sure does put up with a lot of weird from a boy she technically just met.  I mean, I know they’ve been Skype buddies for a while.  But still.
• Oh my God, Gardener’s reaction to seeing the horse is so cute.  I just want a whole movie of this.
• Ugh, Tulsa’s back at the piano again.  Writers, take note.  There are far less cheesy ways to communicate that a character is deep and beautiful and sees the world in a different way and blah, blah, blah.
• Gardener’s health is still stressing me out.
• I love this song by James Bay. “Need the Sun to Break.” It’s one of my new favorites.
• Okay, I think we all knew that ending was coming.
• I’m happy Gary Oldman got his dream.  I don’t know why anyone would want to live on Mars though.  It really doesn’t seem all that great.  Just a lot of red dust.
• It would be fun to weigh less though.

Overall, The Space Between Us is a really cute movie.  I’d definitely see it again.  Don’t let the critics discourage you.  Of course, it’s no Fantastic Beasts, but let’s be honest, what is?

In the City

Hello, friends!  Just a quick update!  I may not have any more deadlines for a while (Yay!) but life is still as busy as ever!

I’ve been enjoying a wonderful few days, celebrating the impending Christmas season with friends and family.

A few of my girlfriends and I had a Christmas crafts night.

Then my mom and my sister and I took a trip downtown to see the world premiere of the opera Becoming Santa Claus.

And life is only going to get busier!  Tonight, my friend and I are taking my sister out to celebrate her birthday.  Tomorrow night, a group of my friends from high school and I are going with our English teacher (our Mr. Feeny, if you will) to see MacBeth.  Thursday night, I’m going to a bachelorette party and Saturday is the wedding!  So much fun and merriment and all the while I keep thinking, “Oh my goodness!  I have to get the new book out!”  Then I remember it’s already out and I think to myself, “Oh, yay!  I love it when that happens!”

The new book is doing great.  And Boy Band is getting some new love because of it!

I’ve had two reviews in the past week that I particularly love.  One is from a new friend down in Mexico named Bryan.  You can check out his review here!

He also took this fabulous picture and I’ve got to be honest, it’s one of my favorite book portraits ever.

The other is a review I believe I already shared, but I love it so much, I’m just going to share it again.

I love all my readers and reviewers and friends so, so much!  I don’t know if you realize it, but you make so many dreams come true just by doing what you love!  Thank you, thank you!

I hope you all are enjoying this most wonderful time of the year.

Wonderful Christmastime

Hi, friends!  Well, the new book is out, I enjoyed a wonderful evening at the Sanger Library as my last public book even for the year… I’m ready to enjoy the holidays!

It’s funny, I’ve had so many deadlines this year that every time I look at my phone and see the date, I think, “Oh my gosh! I need to hurry up and…”  And then I remember that I HAVE no more deadlines this year!  Yay!  It’s a pretty great feeling.  Not gonna lie.  And I’m proud of myself for sticking to them.  Now I just have to get them out of my head and relax and enjoy.  I’ve never considered myself a workaholic, but I am very goal oriented and I usually have to have SOMETHING I’m working on or toward or else I just don’t know what to do with myself.

But I DO have a lot of things to work on.  For one thing, I’m beta-reading my good friend’s first book!  Her name is April, but you might know her as A Well Read Woman.  I’m very much enjoying her book.  It’s taking me a bit longer to read than most books, however, because I’m going through and making notes.  I really enjoy beta-reading, especially because it means I get to read books before they’re released!

April was also sweet enough to read Boy Band and she wrote one of my most favorite reviews of all time.

And no, I don’t JUST love it because she included a One Direction gif.

After I’m finished beta-reading, I’m really looking forward to reading the rest of the books on my TBR list for 2015.  I’m not sure I’ll finish them all by January 1, but I WILL finish.

If I could have one wish this Christmas, it would be for independent authors everywhere to enjoy the same amount of recognition, respect, and readership as our traditionally published colleagues.  If you have a reader in your life, visit Amazon.com or BarnesAndNoble.com and check out an independently published book.  I guarantee you you will make an author’s Christmas dream come true.  A reader’s as well.

Love you all!

The Writer’s Christmas List

Hello, friends!  How are all of you?  Sadly, I am still battling The Crud.  I thought I was getting better, but then Monday night I had a bit of a relapse and it hasn’t gone away.  It’s not horrible, but it makes you feel just gross enough to not want to do anything.  Blah.  Thankfully, I get to work from home so I don’t have to go out and infect the rest of the world.  Unfortunately, in my sickly state, I don’t want to work.  I just want to sit around and snuggle with my kitty and watch Disney movies.

As I was getting ready for bed last night, I couldn’t help but think that this virus has seriously gotten in the way of my Christmas shopping.  And THAT gave me an idea for a blog post.

Ladies and Gents, may I present to you…

The Best Gifts To Give To Your Writer Friend This Holiday Season.

*Please note I am NOT writing this as a suggestive hint that all of you need to buy me presents.  This is just a fun little list that I came up with for all writers.  Not that I speak for all writers.  You know what I mean.*

1. Books.  This one, I think, kind of goes without saying.  We’re writers.  The only thing we love more than writing is reading.  You can never go wrong with books.
2. Gift Cards.  Let’s face it, most writers are poor.  And even if we’re not, we can be hard to shop for.  Gift Cards, especially to Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, or Starbucks are always appreciated.
3. A Bottle of Wine.  Insert stereotype that authors really, really, really like to drink here.
4. Scented Candles.  Okay, maybe this is just me, but I love lighting a scented candle while I work.  It brings me so much peace and makes my work environment so pleasant.  
5. Scarves.  We’re writers.  We love scarves.
6. Homemade Cookies.  Honestly, this is probably the best present of all.  I’d so much rather have a good friend make me something (especially something chocolate) than go out and buy me something.
7. A Book Review.  The very best gift you can give to any writer anywhere is a book review.  Just a few short sentences about how much you enjoyed their book.  Book reviews are invaluable to writers.  It’s free and it only takes about three minutes of your time, if that.  Best.  Present.  Ever.
8. Giving Their Book as a Gift.  You want to make a writer’s holiday season merry and bright?  Give their book as a gift to someone else.  That is better than buying the writer themselves a car.  Okay maybe not, but it’s almost just as good.
9. Donate to a Good Cause.  Last year, instead of buying gifts, my mother donated to charities in our relatives’ names.  I thought that was a great gift.  Great causes to donate to for your writer friends include literacy and education charities.  Also the Humane Society because everyone loves animals.
10. Quality Time.  To me, nothing is better than quality time spent with those you love.  Take your favorite writer friend out to dinner, or go drive around a look at Christmas lights and drink some hot chocolate.  Bake cookies and watch a Christmas movie.  It’s the season for gift-giving, true, but it’s more so the season to love and appreciate the people in your life.  It’s the moments, not the gifts, that will last a lifetime.

 

I’m With the Mockingjay

This past weekend once again found my family and me in Lubbock.  You may or may not know this, but Lubbock and I… Well, we don’t really get along.  For some reason, every time I go out there, I have the worst luck.  I get abandoned at an airport, I get sick, the fire alarm goes off at my hotel (because there’s actually a fire), I get snowed in… I don’t know what it is.  Lubbock just doesn’t seem to like me.

I wasn’t going to let that get me down, however, because this weekend, my sister starred in an opera (as a demented eight-year-old) called The Turn of the Screw.  Y’all, this was a seriously creepy show with some incredibly talented singers.  We were all blown away by the performances. And I loved it, of course, because it was a ghost story!

As much as I enjoyed watching my sister act possessed, I think we were both really looking forward to the next morning, when we finally got to see the final installment in the Hunger Games series: Mockingjay Part 2.

Let me just say that I think they could have made Mockingjay into one exceptional movie and it would have been perfect.  I’m not really a fan of this new splitting the last book in a series into two movies.  But the Hunger Games movies are by far the best book-to-movie adaptations I’ve ever seen, so I can’t complain too much.  This last movie did not disappoint.

So, in the style of all my other movie reviews, I present to you… Mockingjay Part 2!

*** MAJOR SPOILERS. IT’S A BOOK. I’M NOT HOLDING BACK. ***

• OMG I’m going to cry so much.
• Peeta!  Poor baby!  😥
• Aw, Philip Seymour Hoffman.  I wish you were still alive.
• Commander Paylor!  Woo!  You go girl!  (And we all know you get to be President in the end so BOOYAH)!
• Hey…. It’s Brienne from Game of Thrones.
• It’s kind of scary how accurately this parallels what’s going on in today’s world.  I feel like our politicians have done just as good a job of dividing our country as the Capitol did dividing Panem.
• Aw, wedding!
• Finnick… 😥
• You know, I named Sam Morneau in Boy Band after Sam Claflin.  Because he’s adorbs.
• Wait, she’s stowing away in the delivery crate?  That’s not how it happened in the book.
• She’s already in the Capitol?  Is this the final siege?  That happened awfully fast.
• Oh hey, Liam Hemsworth.  I don’t like Gale, but I definitely like you. 😉
• Also, we totally almost have the same birthday.
• Okay, people, can we just talk about how seriously adorable Pollux is?  Look at his little man bun and his sweet, expressive eyes.  I think I have a new Panem crush.
• This is all happening so much faster than it did in the book.  I’m not sure I’m ready for this.
• Poor Peeta!  Oh, my poor sweet little baker!
• The siege hasn’t even started and I’m already scared of those sewer lizards.
• These pods are freaking me out.  Again, too many parallels for what’s actually going on in some parts of the world.  Can you imagine seeing your city, your home, war-torn and deserted?  It’s terrifying.
• Finnick, why are you smiling?  Is this fun to you?
• RIP Boggs.  I hate it when the only authority figure you can trust dies.
• Finnick’s face when he saw his image displayed on TV, just as if he’d died in the Hunger Games!  That boy is giggling!  Oh my goodness.
• Coin, you are so full of it.
• President Snow correcting her. HA.
• Down to the sewers. Nope, nope, nope! There are lizards down there!
• Oh, POLLUX!  It’s okay my baby!  Please, let me hold you!
• Oh no.  I can hear them.  Oh no.  They’re coming.  OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG.
• I don’t know if I can watch this.
• OH MY GOD THEY ARE SO MUCH SCARIER THAN THEY WERE IN THE BOOKS.
• Oh, I am going to have nightmares for sure.
• Finnick’s final battle.  What a send-off.
• Seeing his face on that wanted poster… OMG that hurts…
• BUT SEEING POLLUX CRYING HURTS MORE!  HIS BROTHER DIED.  THIS IS SO SAD.  POLLUX SHOULD NEVER BE ALLOWED TO BE SAD!
• I think I officially care more about Pollux than I do about any other character in this entire series.
• Liam Hemsworth is doing a really good job of making Gale even more of a douchebag than he was in the books.  Wow.
• The march on the Capitol.  This is it.  We all know what’s coming.  Unless you haven’t read the books or have been living under a rock.  Then I guess you have no idea.  But we know.  We know.
• That little girl crying over her mom.  This movie is SO sad.
• There it is.  That lone hovercraft.  I have the chills just thinking about it.  We all know.
• That’s it.
• I wish I could say I cared more about Prim as a character.  Her death just didn’t impact me the way it did in the book.  I only care about what happens to her because Katniss cares.
• Coin is such a scary character, because she’s essentially Snow, but she acts as though she’s good and diplomatic and that she cares about the people of Panem.  She doesn’t.  She’s just as power hungry and evil.  And Julianne Moore does an excellent job of portraying that.
• Her speech.  HA.  We all know what’s coming.  This is perfect.
• BYE FELICIA.
• The letter from Plutarch.  This scene might be the saddest one of all, because he was supposed to deliver that speech.
• HAYFFIE KISS HAYFFIE KISS OMG.
• THIS IS THE SHIP I NEVER KNEW I NEEDED.
• Though to be totally honest, I don’t actually think they would ever work out together.  Still, it was an adorable moment because Effie has a huge crush on him and I think he really respects her even though he’d never admit it.
• I’m glad they made Haymitch more of a father figure and less of a damaged alcoholic.  He was still broken in a lot of ways, but he was much stronger in the movies than he was in the books.
• So… Haymitch and Katniss go back to their destroyed district… Totally alone… Amidst the rubble…  How depressing is that?
• BUTTERCUP. Oh no… Oh no… This is another scene I’ve been dreading.
• I’m sad for Katniss, of course, but OMG I AM SO SAD FOR THAT CAT.  That cat is making me BAWL.
• Saddest moment.  Sad animals.  Can’t handle it.
• Peeta!  PEETA!  EVERLARK FOREVER.
• REAL.
• REAL.
• REAL.
• Peeta is officially the world’s cutest dad.

All in all, I still get emotional thinking about this movie.  Actually, the series in general.  It’s my favorite.  I love it.  I love everything about it.

Though I’ve got to tell y’all, as we were leaving the theater, all just completely wrecked and sobbing, some guy behind us starts singing at the top of his lungs, “SHOT THROUGH THE HEART AND YOU’RE TO BLAME!”  Yeah, that kind of killed the moment.  But it was pretty funny, I have to admit.

Well, I better be off.  I’m going to a NaNoWriMo event at a local library!   Talk to y’all soon!

A Very Twilight Review

By now, you’re all familiar with the way that I review movies.  It’s not really reviewing so much as sharing my unfiltered thoughts here on my blog.

Yesterday, the world of YA fiction got a bit of a surprise in the form of Life and Death, also known as Gender-Bent Twilight.

My initial reaction was, “What the hell?  Who came up with that?”

Then my sister explained to me that it was, in fact, STEPHENIE MEYER who came up with that.

And just like that, I knew that I was going to read it.  Not because I think Stephenie Meyer is all that great a writer (she’s really not) or because I’m a Twihard (I enjoy the books, but not obsessively like Harry Potter or The Hunger Games).  No.  I knew I was going to read the book out of pure, unadulterated, shameless curiosity.

And that’s what I did.

After I finished the book (yes, I read it in one day… yes, I’m a freakishly fast reader), I debated whether or not I was going to review it on my blog.  As I fell asleep, I was sort of thinking, “Nah… Not really worth my time.  Besides, dozens of other bloggers will be doing the exact same thing.”  But then, scrolling through GoodReads this morning, I saw that most readers were simply wailing and bemoaning the book’s existence.  So I thought, “Oh, what the heck?” and here I am.

I need to preface this once again by saying, yes, I read the original Twilight saga and yes, I kind of love it.  I thought it was a fun story with magic and great escapism.  It’s the kind of book that, while the writing not be great, you leave the world feeling like you belonged there and the characters in that world feel like old friends.  It’s exactly how books you love are supposed to make you feel.

That being said, Life and Death was not nearly as magical an experience as Twilight.  Maybe because I’m ten years older now.  Maybe because I went in thinking a male version of Bella was going to be hilarious.  I don’t know.  But here are my thoughts.  Enjoy.

*Warning: SPOILERS*

Thoughts on Life And Death

• Obvious that Smeyer is making the effort to make this inner monologue a bit more typical of a teenage boy, but he still sounds awfully wishy-washy.
• Beau’s description makes him sound like an Emo-Kid and even though he doesn’t say this at ALL, for some reason I’m imagining him with greasy hair and bad acne.  That’s just the vibe his personality gives off.  No way is he going to attract the hottest vampire girl in school.
• Why aren’t Renee and Charlie gender-bent?  Why couldn’t Police Chief Charlotte Swan welcome her son home after her flaky husband Raymond left her and married Pro-Softball player Felicia? It could have worked, people. Come on.
• All these gender-bent guys are acting WAY too much like girls.  Forgive me, I’m not meaning to perpetuate heteronormative stereotypes or anything, but really.  It wasn’t that long ago that I was in high school.  Guys don’t talk like that.
• Somehow, the gender-bent girls work.  I can see a bunch of new girls flocking to the new boy in school. Although, once they figure out how much of a bummer Beau is, they’ll probably flock right back.
• Okay WHERE did Smeyer come up with the new names for the Cullens?  These names are ridiculous.  Royal?  Archie?  I’m having a really hard time remembering who is supposed to be who (although since this is supposedly an entirely separate work, I guess I’m not supposed to).
• Also, I’m very disappointed that neither Jasper nor James nor Jacob was renamed Jackie.
• Speaking of Jacob/Julie, there’s definitely not going to be a Renesmee or Ronaldo or whatever weird, gender-bent name might have been bestowed on the human/vampire spawn.  So I’m guessing she ends up alone.
• I don’t know why, but I actually really like Edythe.  I think she seems kind of kickass.  That being said, I can’t imagine her falling for Beau who has the personality of a wet wash cloth.  Seriously, I’m usually pretty big on the, “Why do these fictional heroines always go for the brooding bad boy?  Why can’t they go for the sweet, nice, normal boy next door?”  But Beau, again, is just… Blegh.
• Wow, this book is exactly like Twlilight but with gender-bent characters.
• I’m not buying the whole every girl in town is into cars.  One?  Sure.  But come on, Smeyer, if you’re going to gender-bend them, make them kind of believable.  Not one of my girl friends is into cars.  My guy friends?  Yeah.  Like, all of them.
• Also Don’t make Royal drive around in Rosalee’s super girly car and then give Eleanor Emmett’s off-roader.  Seriously.  I know you’re trying to make a point that Bella isn’t a damsel in distress or whatever, but you didn’t even try to actually gender-bend them.  You just changed the names and the pronouns.
• Okay, I finally realized why, as a female reader, Beau is unappealing to me.  Other than the fact that he’s Bella Swan in boxer shorts.  It’s because he has such low self-esteem.  His whole inner-monologue (like Bella’s) is, “Oh, how could this gorgeous girl ever love me?  Oh, she’s a goddess and I’m just a mere mortal.  Oh, I’m so dull and normal.”  As a woman, I have to come out and say it:  That is NOT an attractive quality.  Humility is great.  We all love a guy who’s modest.  But for the love of God, please have some sense of pride.  Don’t base your entire self-worth on the woman you’re dating.  For one thing, that puts way too much pressure on us.  For another thing, if you don’t think you’re all that great, then why should we?  I like a guy who sees me as a person, who’s comfortable around me.  I’ve dated guys who put me on a pedestal before.  It’s awful.  It’s completely dehumanizing and unrealistic.  I just… Grrrrr, Beau.  Grrrrrrrr.
• Sorry.  Rant over.
• Beau pisses me off.
• But still, I really like Edythe.  Somehow, Female Edward works.
• Okay… Instead of “dazzling” Beau says she’s “disarming with dimples” or something?  Okay.  Maybe it’s actually a good thing that Smeyer didn’t change all that much because that’s just excruciatingly awkward.
• “A part of her saw me as food.”  Stop.  Please, Beau.  Just stop.
• I seriously just can’t with this piggy-back riding scene.  This is so awkward.  OMG.
• I’m trying really hard to picture Beau as someone more appealing, like Matthew Gray Gubler (who is actually my Michael Sinclair), but it’s just not working.  I’m still seeing him as this gangly kid who wears stupid t-shirts and has oily hair and zits.  I really think it’s the personality.
• I wonder what gender-bent Cemetery Tours would be like?  Not that I actually have time to write it.  I have way too many other stories that I want to work on first!
• I actually really like Carine and Earnest.  They’re super sweet and somehow, they work.  The rest of the Cullens?  Not so much.  Except maybe Royal.  I can totally see this snobbish, scary, super full of himself blond vampire.  Kind of picturing him as Malfoy’s older brother.
• I had no idea Joss was a girl’s name.  I’m over here reading this and thinking Joss Whedon.
• Should have been Jackie.  I’d love to read about evil vampire Jackie trying to take Beau out.
• Just like Twilight.
• Wait a minute.  Wait a minute.  Woah.  Wait.  This isn’t like just like Twilight.
• What?  What?
• Okay, this alternate ending is somehow making the hours I just spent reading Beau drivel worth it.
• Well, sort of.  Smeyer just somehow managed to cram all three of the rest of the series into about four chapters.
• Beau and Edythe are talking about marriage?  Ew.  I’m sorry.  They’re so young.  I can’t see them married.  Just no.
• Although, I guess Edythe is 109.  She definitely makes me feel like less of a cougar for liking a guy who’s three years younger than me.
• Still, if I was Beau, I’d be totally miffed at how all this turned out.  Sorry.
• Interesting.  Okay.  Well.  I read it.

And there you have it folks.  For me, the original will always be better.    Fans of Twilight, though, I am eager to find out what y’all thought of the *new* Bella and Edward.

Of Scary Stories and Reviews

This week isn’t even half over yet and already, it’s been kind of crazy.  Before it ends, it’s going to get a lot crazier.  I have like, a million things I need to remember to do and unfortunately, I’ve been sick for the last two days which means all I want to do is lie on the couch in my sweatpants and read.  Granted, that’s what I do a lot of the time anyway, but with less than a week before my next book comes and with more than a few book events and speaking engagements on the horizon, not to mention a meeting tonight at church and cat-sitting, I don’t have time to be sick and feel sorry for myself.

Then, of course, there are the new stories that I’m continuing to work on for the rest of the month.  One, of course, is the sequel to Backstage.  That one is just pure fun.  I seriously love writing YA.  I love writing ghost stories too, but they require a certain level of depth and emotion, and it can be draining to pour all that heavy onto the page.  Stories about boy bands however?  Pure fluff.

The second story is for the second book in the Lurking Anthology series called Lurking in the Shadows. I can’t give you too many details about the story itself, but I can tell you it is by far the darkest thing I’ve ever written.  It makes Cemetery Tours look like The Princess Diaries.  I’ve got to be honest, I’m really hoping I’m not inviting in any dark energy or anything by writing this.  I’ll make sure to keep my Bible on hand.

Speaking of Cemetery Tours, as I was writing this, a package arrived on my doorstep…

After Death, the third book in the Cemetery Tours series, is here!  And it looks amazing!  I’m so, so, so excited!  I can’t wait to share it with all of you next Tuesday!  It’s kind of weird to think I’ve officially written a trilogy.  Of course, it won’t be a trilogy for long.  There are two more books coming!

Finally, I’ve been making a point to read and review the stack of books I’ve had sitting by my bedside for forever.  I’ve been making progress.  One book, Moon Tears by M. M. Frische, I really enjoyed. Well-written, historical fiction about the author’s cousin, I highly recommend it.

I’ve read a few other books, however, that I can’t say I enjoyed, or even finished.  I always feel so guilty when I don’t like a book.  It sounds weird, right?  I never feel guilty not liking a song or a movie, but when it’s a book, I almost feel like it’s personal.  Maybe it’s because I’m an author myself.  I don’t know.  I especially feel guilty when I’ve met the author in person.  Now, I’m not going to say which books I didn’t like.  I don’t want to do that to a fellow writer.  If I don’t like a book, I simply won’t write a review.  And maybe that’s wrong.  Maybe a lousy review is better than no review at all.  But I almost feel like I owe it to the author to give them a good review, just because I know how much time and effort and love they put into a story.  Even though, on the flip side, I know I owe it to fellow readers and reviewers to be totally honest in my recommendation.

Anyway, I suppose I better be off!  I’ll talk to y’all soon!  Keep reading, keep writing!

How M. Night Shyamalan Got His Groove Back

Okay, so my sister and I have this tradition around Christmastime.  It’s called Double Movie Day.  The day before Christmas Eve, we pick out two movies and spend the entire day at the theater.  Last year, we saw The Theory of Everything and Night at the Museum 3.

This year, we decided to push Double Movie Day up a few months because A) my sister was home for the weekend B) and we had two movies that we REALLY wanted to see.

The movies we saw fit right in with the impending Halloween season: The Perfect Guy and The Visit.

As usual, this post WILL contain spoilers.  However, given that one of the films is an M. Night Shyamalan production, I will do my best to keep them to a minimum.

Thoughts on The Perfect Guy

• This movie kind of looks like an adaptation of The Guardian by Nicholas Sparks.
• It also kind of looks like a high-budget Lifetime Movie.
• I can’t wait.
• Script is a little weak at first, but it tells us what we need to know.  Leah wants to get married and have kids.  Dave doesn’t.  So she ends it.  Fair enough.  Sorry, Dave.  You blew it.
• Even though I know from the previews that Carter is a creepy psychopathic stalker, the guy playing him is really attractive.
• His character, however, is so smooth you know that something’s off about him.
• Public bathroom inside a hole-in-the-wall dance club.  Perfect place to consummate a relationship.
• AW, she has an orange kitty named Rusty.  I had an orange kitty named Rusty!
• Oh PLEASE don’t let anything bad happen to Rusty!
• I don’t think I even need to talk about how fast you run after you see your boyfriend beat someone else to a pulp.
• Leah, no.  Do not listen to your friend.  She is giving you terrible advice.
• Karen, you’re the worst friend ever.
• No!  I KNEW that sicko would take Rusty!  I knew it!  Poor kitty!
• Oh, good.  Dave is back.  I like Dave.
• Leah is not a believable single woman.  If my cat was missing, I wouldn’t know how to function.  I wouldn’t be able to live.  I would be curled up in a ball, crying, until she came home.
• WTF. WHAT. NO. *Spoiler*
• I feel like this entire movie is a commentary on how the system can’t help victims of stalking/harassment until something bad has already happened.  Leah knows Carter is dangerous.  She knows he’s stalking her.  He has gone out of his way to ruin her ENTIRE life and everything she’s worked for.  But the way the system is set up, no one can actually help her until he does something dangerous and drastic.
• I do like how the detective is really trying to help her.
• This is like Criminal Minds with a really good-looking unsub.
• The house Leah lives in is actually really creepy.  It’s all modern and designer with really big open windows.  I could never live in a house like that.  I wouldn’t feel safe at all.  Plus it’s just not very cozy or homey.
• I do like the pool though.
• Provoking crazy people. Such a terrible idea.
• Oh thank GOD she got Rusty back!
• Again, you go, girl.

Thoughts on The Visit

• Okay, M. Night. I love The Sixth Sense, Signs, and The Village.  It’s been a while.  I’m expecting good things.  Good scary things.
• Small white child rapping.  Stop.  Please.  Stop.
• Aw, I like the snow.  I know I won’t like it when it’s falling from the sky in February, but since it’s between the months of September and December, I like snow.
• Old people houses are so creepy in movies.  What’s the deal?
• Granted, this is supposed to be a creepy movie so I get it.
• Bedtime at 9:30 and no wifi? That’s a horror movie in and of itself.
• OLD LADY VOMITING NOOOOOO. EWWWWWW.
• OMG the game of hide and seek?  This movie is already terrifying.
• I’m really seeing a lot of classic M. Night in this movie.  Rural setting.  Isolated.  Inside a home where you’re supposed to feel safe.  Eerie nighttime noises that let you know that you’re not alone in the house and that whatever is in there with you is REALLY EFFING CREEPY.
• I bet the lady playing the grandma had so much fun filming this movie.  It’s probably not often that she gets to scare the pants off of people.  She’s such a cute lady.
• Okay, I’m beginning to get the impression that the mom is a huge flake.
• Trying to figure out what the twist will be.  Thinking it probably has something to do with demons or witchcraft or maybe an ancient spell discovered at the well.  There’s sort of an underground/water theme going on.
• I know the grandma is kind of the possessed one, but the grandpa is freaking me out too.
• Okay, this might not be the scariest M. Night film of all time, but I think it’s the one that scares me the most and it’s because your grandparents are supposed to love you and take care of you.  They’re not supposed to scare you.
• Okay, I’ve got to know what this gossip is that everyone keeps talking about.
• What.  WHAT.  WHATTTTTTT.
• OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG.
• I am freaking out right now.  I’m not even kidding you.  This is terrifying.  OMG.  OMG.
• No no no no no no no no no no.
• I might just be scarred for life after this movie.  Oh my God.
• Hey, lady next to me on your cell phone.  SHUT UP.
• Good she hung up.
• I cannot get over this movie.
• Aw, this is kind of sad.
• OH MY GOD ARE YOU SERIOUS. YOU’RE ON YOUR CELL PHONE AGAIN?!
• I am throwing some SERIOUS shade at you, lady.
• So rude.
• Oh, no.  White child is rapping again.  I’m out.

In short, I can highly recommend both of these movies.  With The Perfect Guy, you kind of know what you’re getting, but it’s still definitely worth the watch.  I want my mom to see it.  It’s right up her alley.  As far as The Visit goes?  Congratulations, M. Night.  You once again blew my mind, scared me half to death, and kept me lying awake until odd hours of the night telling myself over and over again that there were no creepy old ladies crawling down my hall.

A Paper Review

After reading the internationally acclaimed bestseller, The Fault in Our Stars, I decided I was going to read every single book John Green had ever written.  I read Looking for Alaska and An Abundance of Katherines.  Both were pretty okay, though I noticed several similarities between all three books.  But I’d heard that, besides TFIOS, Paper Towns was one of the best, so I saved it for last.

I didn’t like it.  In fact, I kind of hated it.

I don’t publicize this fact very often because SO many people love Paper Towns and SO many people love John Green.  I’m one of them!  John Green is great!  He’s smart, he’s hilarious, he wrote one of my very favorite books.

But God, do I hate Paper Towns.

I don’t really want to go off on a long, preachy rant about everything that I hated, so I’ll try to summarize my feelings as best as I can.

• Don’t care about what happens to the characters.
• Margo Roth Spieglemeyer or whatever her last name is a selfish, superior, manipulative bi-yatch and I’m really glad she disappeared halfway through the book.
• That being said, I think Q is a pathetic excuse for a character and I have no idea why he’s so obsessed with her.
• Radar is great, but their other friend, Ben, is the most annoying character in the history of fiction.  He’s gross, he’s sexist, he objectifies women in the sleaziest way… This character literally sends shudders of disgust down my spine.  Every time he utters the words “honey-bunny” I want to kick something.
• This book is literally about Q pining for Margo.
• So bored.
• Ridiculously close to not finishing this book.
• Oh road trip.  This is almost interesting.
• Margo should have turned out to be a serial killer.  That would have been a great ending.

So yeah, those are my thoughts on the book.  Needless to say, I was less than enthusiastic when I found out they were making it into a movie.  I really didn’t think I would see it, at least not in the theater.  I may have watched it once it hit On-Demand.  But my sister and her best friend really wanted to see it and since they’re both leaving to go back to school soon, I decided to go with them.

I went into the movie thinking I would hate it.  I admit it.  I went in with a lousy attitude because of how much I hated the book.  The movie, it turns out, is actually entertaining.  I was pleasantly surprised.  True, everything I hated about the book, I still hated about the movie, but at least the movie made me laugh.

So, true to my old review form, here are my thoughts on Paper Towns:

• Not even five minutes into this movie and I’m already sick of hearing about Margo Roth Swampmonster.
• If my kid found a dead body, I would send him/her to counseling.  Margo probably have used it.
• Can’t tell if Cara Delevingne is a really awkward actress or if I just hate the character so much that every time she speaks, I cringe.  Possibly both.
• Margo is making fun of Q because he has goals?  Because he has ambition?  That is so wrong on so many levels.  Goals and ambitions are GOOD things to have!  I’ve always had ambitions.  True, you should strive to be happy while you are achieving those goals, but come ON.  It’s good to have dreams, kids.  Don’t believe the Margo Roth Spillfiggle in your life.
• Also breaking into people’s houses is not edgy or cool.  It’s against the law.  Don’t do it.
• For a movie that’s not airing on Lifetime, Paper Towns sure has a lot of slow-motion sequences.
• Nat Wolff, I don’t know what it is, but something about your face makes me want to punch you.  I’m sure you’re a nice person, and I’m sorry I feel that way, but I do.
• Okay, so the movie version of Ben isn’t quite as disgusting or sexist or perverse as the book version.  Actually, the actor playing him is hilarious, even though he kind of looks like he’s twelve.  If he hadn’t been playing this character that I hate so much, I’d probably love him.
• Radar is still amazing.  Great casting.  I laughed out loud at the black Santas.
• Ditching school to visit decrepit old buildings.  Yeah, that’s a smart idea.  Although I don’t believe none of these kids have ever missed school a day in their lives.  Everyone catches the flu sometimes.
• Again, people, do not look up to the Margo Roth Spawnmeisters in your life.  School is important.  School is cool.
• Something about a party.  Ben needs to be neutered.
• Q is letting his stupid infatuation with Margo turn him into a jerk who yells at his friends because they’re not as obsessed with her as he is.  Jerk.
• Did anyone actually throw parties like this in high school?  Seriously, you see them in movies and TV shows all the time but I’ve never actually heard of one happening.  Maybe it’s because I was in band in high school.  I don’t know.
• Oh my God, Ben, Q, and Radar drunkenly singing the Pokemon theme song at the top of their lungs just redeemed this whole movie.
• Road trip time!  The only part of the book I actually liked.
• Radar and Angela are so cute.  And way to tell him not to be afraid of you and to actually treat you like a person, girl! Preach!
• Poor Radar.  This whole trip.  Poor Radar.  Laughing out loud.
• ANSEL ELGORT.  AUGUSTUS WATERS.  THANK YOU MOVIE GODS FOR THE CAMEO I NEVER KNEW I NEEDED.
• I think Q should be going for Lacey, not Margo. She’s actually a nice person. She cares. Fairly certain she’s asking Ben to Prom out of pity.
• Radar and Angela are too cute.
• Q, just listen to your friends.  Margo isn’t there.  She’s a bi-yatch.  Forget her.  She literally doesn’t care about any of you.  Don’t be a jerk to them just because the girl you like is a terrible person.
• Also, why do these kids keep acting like the end of high school is the end of their whole lives?  They’re like, “Oh, this is it.  We’re going to go away and never see each other again.”  I don’t know about any of y’all, but I’m still really good friends with the people I was really good friends with in high school.  Yeah, we all went to college but there is such a thing as long-distance friendships.
• Margo, I still hate you.  You’re not deep.  You’re just selfish.  Get lost and stay lost.
• Again with the whole last week of high school nostalgia.  By my last week of high school, my friends and I were all like, “YEAH!  GRADUATION!  LET’S GO!”  I loved my high school and I still love and admire my teachers.  In fact, I’m still in touch with most of them.  I had the best high school experience a kid could ask for.  But I was SO ready to graduate.
• Q, go become a doctor.  Get married.  Buy a house.  Have kids.  That doesn’t make you a paper person.  Those are all very good things.  Love is important.  Family is important.  Anyone who tells you otherwise… Well… Is probably Margo Roth Spaghettiman.

Monday Musings

Hi, friends!  I hope you all had a great weekend.  Mine was very relaxing, yet still somehow kind of productive.  I say “kind of” because I never feel like I’m as productive as I want to be/need to be/could be.  But you know, for a couple of days where I’m housesitting two houses, taking care of two cats with medical needs, and writing two books, three different short stories, and designing book covers, it could have been a lot worse.  OF course, just because I feel like I kind of did stuff over the weekend doesn’t mean I can take a break or even slow down.  There is always something that can be done.

For example…

1) Reading and reviewing.  I have several books on my to-read list, and several of those I hope to review as they are written by fellow indie authors.  I finally got to review Heir to the Sun by Jennifer Allis Provost yesterday: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/1290975139?book_show_action=false&from_review_page=1

2) Tidying up.  I am a slob, okay?  Total and complete slob.  I like to think that when I own my future beach house, I’ll keep it nice, but to be totally honest, I probably won’t.  Still, as much as I hate cleaning, I usually do feel a lot better afterward.  So who knows?  Maybe I’ll take the plunge.

3) Designing book covers.  I’m not sure if I’ve told y’all this, but I am redesigning the Cemetery Tours series’ book covers.  I plan on re-releasing the first two with the new covers at the same time as After Death on October 6.  I’ve been playing around with design ideas and having a lot of fun with it.  For those wondering why, I still absolutely love the covers as they are now.  They’re beautiful and captivating and people really like them.  But they aren’t my images.  The photographs on the covers of those books are stock photos.  I’d really like to make the books fully my own, and that means using my own images.  As the release date draws closer, I’ll be sharing the image designs and ideas to get your opinion.  The ones I’m leaning toward right now are actually really pretty, but they still need a bit of work.

4) Working on short stories, not only for submission into anthologies, but for Boy Band!  I feel bad for leaving the story on such a cliffhanger, and to apologize for making my readers wait until December to find out what happens, I’ll be publishing a few free short stories here on my blog until December rolls around!  No spoilers at all.  They’re most stories of what took place before the first book.  Just for fun.

5) Preparing for my sister’s and my trip to California NEXT WEEK!  What?! How did that sneak up on us so quickly?!  I’m not at all ready!  But at the same time… I am SO ready!

What does your Monday have in store?