How M. Night Shyamalan Got His Groove Back

Okay, so my sister and I have this tradition around Christmastime.  It’s called Double Movie Day.  The day before Christmas Eve, we pick out two movies and spend the entire day at the theater.  Last year, we saw The Theory of Everything and Night at the Museum 3.

This year, we decided to push Double Movie Day up a few months because A) my sister was home for the weekend B) and we had two movies that we REALLY wanted to see.

The movies we saw fit right in with the impending Halloween season: The Perfect Guy and The Visit.

As usual, this post WILL contain spoilers.  However, given that one of the films is an M. Night Shyamalan production, I will do my best to keep them to a minimum.

Thoughts on The Perfect Guy

• This movie kind of looks like an adaptation of The Guardian by Nicholas Sparks.
• It also kind of looks like a high-budget Lifetime Movie.
• I can’t wait.
• Script is a little weak at first, but it tells us what we need to know.  Leah wants to get married and have kids.  Dave doesn’t.  So she ends it.  Fair enough.  Sorry, Dave.  You blew it.
• Even though I know from the previews that Carter is a creepy psychopathic stalker, the guy playing him is really attractive.
• His character, however, is so smooth you know that something’s off about him.
• Public bathroom inside a hole-in-the-wall dance club.  Perfect place to consummate a relationship.
• AW, she has an orange kitty named Rusty.  I had an orange kitty named Rusty!
• Oh PLEASE don’t let anything bad happen to Rusty!
• I don’t think I even need to talk about how fast you run after you see your boyfriend beat someone else to a pulp.
• Leah, no.  Do not listen to your friend.  She is giving you terrible advice.
• Karen, you’re the worst friend ever.
• No!  I KNEW that sicko would take Rusty!  I knew it!  Poor kitty!
• Oh, good.  Dave is back.  I like Dave.
• Leah is not a believable single woman.  If my cat was missing, I wouldn’t know how to function.  I wouldn’t be able to live.  I would be curled up in a ball, crying, until she came home.
• WTF. WHAT. NO. *Spoiler*
• I feel like this entire movie is a commentary on how the system can’t help victims of stalking/harassment until something bad has already happened.  Leah knows Carter is dangerous.  She knows he’s stalking her.  He has gone out of his way to ruin her ENTIRE life and everything she’s worked for.  But the way the system is set up, no one can actually help her until he does something dangerous and drastic.
• I do like how the detective is really trying to help her.
• This is like Criminal Minds with a really good-looking unsub.
• The house Leah lives in is actually really creepy.  It’s all modern and designer with really big open windows.  I could never live in a house like that.  I wouldn’t feel safe at all.  Plus it’s just not very cozy or homey.
• I do like the pool though.
• Provoking crazy people. Such a terrible idea.
• Oh thank GOD she got Rusty back!
• Again, you go, girl.

Thoughts on The Visit

• Okay, M. Night. I love The Sixth Sense, Signs, and The Village.  It’s been a while.  I’m expecting good things.  Good scary things.
• Small white child rapping.  Stop.  Please.  Stop.
• Aw, I like the snow.  I know I won’t like it when it’s falling from the sky in February, but since it’s between the months of September and December, I like snow.
• Old people houses are so creepy in movies.  What’s the deal?
• Granted, this is supposed to be a creepy movie so I get it.
• Bedtime at 9:30 and no wifi? That’s a horror movie in and of itself.
• OLD LADY VOMITING NOOOOOO. EWWWWWW.
• OMG the game of hide and seek?  This movie is already terrifying.
• I’m really seeing a lot of classic M. Night in this movie.  Rural setting.  Isolated.  Inside a home where you’re supposed to feel safe.  Eerie nighttime noises that let you know that you’re not alone in the house and that whatever is in there with you is REALLY EFFING CREEPY.
• I bet the lady playing the grandma had so much fun filming this movie.  It’s probably not often that she gets to scare the pants off of people.  She’s such a cute lady.
• Okay, I’m beginning to get the impression that the mom is a huge flake.
• Trying to figure out what the twist will be.  Thinking it probably has something to do with demons or witchcraft or maybe an ancient spell discovered at the well.  There’s sort of an underground/water theme going on.
• I know the grandma is kind of the possessed one, but the grandpa is freaking me out too.
• Okay, this might not be the scariest M. Night film of all time, but I think it’s the one that scares me the most and it’s because your grandparents are supposed to love you and take care of you.  They’re not supposed to scare you.
• Okay, I’ve got to know what this gossip is that everyone keeps talking about.
• What.  WHAT.  WHATTTTTTT.
• OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG.
• I am freaking out right now.  I’m not even kidding you.  This is terrifying.  OMG.  OMG.
• No no no no no no no no no no.
• I might just be scarred for life after this movie.  Oh my God.
• Hey, lady next to me on your cell phone.  SHUT UP.
• Good she hung up.
• I cannot get over this movie.
• Aw, this is kind of sad.
• OH MY GOD ARE YOU SERIOUS. YOU’RE ON YOUR CELL PHONE AGAIN?!
• I am throwing some SERIOUS shade at you, lady.
• So rude.
• Oh, no.  White child is rapping again.  I’m out.

In short, I can highly recommend both of these movies.  With The Perfect Guy, you kind of know what you’re getting, but it’s still definitely worth the watch.  I want my mom to see it.  It’s right up her alley.  As far as The Visit goes?  Congratulations, M. Night.  You once again blew my mind, scared me half to death, and kept me lying awake until odd hours of the night telling myself over and over again that there were no creepy old ladies crawling down my hall.

Frightening Flicks of Halloween

Since it is officially October, I will be in full-fledged Halloween mode for the next thirty days.  To begin the celebration, I have compiled a list of my favorite movies and television shows that I like to watch in preparation for All Hallows Eve!  Enjoy!

Let’s start with a classic.  The Blair Witch Project.  I love this movie.  It is so fantastically creepy.  I’m a big nature fan.  I love hiking and I love the woods.  When I worked as a summer camp counselor, there was this creepy old abandoned cabin that we would always pass on our way to the low ropes course.  It was so eerie and I’m pretty sure it will one day be included in one of my future novels.  Woods by themselves are creepy enough.  You can never know for sure what’s beyond the seemingly endless trees.  I think that’s why I love The Blair Witch Project so much.

Though I must admit, the first time I watched it, I didn’t get the ending at all.  My sister got really mad at me.

Suitable for an author of ghost stories, the next movie on the list is M. Night Shyamalan’s spooktacular The Sixth Sense.  I’ll never forget the night I first watched this movie, because it was the same night a string of tornadoes ravaged through Oklahoma City and we were feeling the effects all the way in Dallas, so it was already a creepy kind of night.  I’ll tell you, this movie about scared the pants off of me, especially Mischa Barton puking.  I don’t like puke.  I can’t even handle when my friend’s new baby spits up.  How does Mr. Shyamalan expect me to cope with a really creepy ghost lurking around in Cole’s room and puking?  Anyway, you don’t need me to tell you that this is an excellent movies and one of my favorite shows to watch to get me in the Halloween spirit.

The Omen.  I actually watched the 2006 version before the original, but needless to say, the original is infinitely better, mostly thanks to Mr. Gregory Peck.  I’m a Christian, so the idea of demons and Satan are extra creepy because I do believe in them.  After all, if you believe in one, you must believe in the other.

Okay, so I am supposed to be a mature 25-year-old woman with a Master’s degree, but the truth is, I am a huge kid at heart.  Another one of my favorite ghost stories comes to life with Casper.  I want that mansion.  Seriously, it is the coolest building ever.  And the scene at the end when he comes down the stairs for the dance?  I tear up every time.  No joke.  Great family-friendly Halloween movie!

Another classic, Bram Stoker’s Dracula.  I think this was the first Rated R movie I ever saw.  My mom let my sister and me watch it when we were really little, I think because she has a huge crush on Gary Oldman.  This is a beautiful movie.  It’s actually one of the few movies that I enjoy more than the book.  The book is nice and creepy, of course, but I was very disappointed by how un-romantic it was.  Come on, Bram Stoker!  What, do you think I read this for the vampires?  The movie adaptation, however, has everything a good Halloween movie should have; a haunted castle, suspense, a chase scene, vampires, monsters, a creepy tomb scene, and just enough romance to make a girl sigh.

Growing up, I used to be obsessed with all those haunted reality shows on The 13 Days of Halloween or something.  My mom, my sister, and I watched all the specials every year, because they were so interesting.  However, for some reason, I could never really get into ghost hunting reality shows.  That all changed the day I discovered Ghost Adventures.  I’m glad I found them too, because they inspired the paranormal investigation aspect of Cemetery Tours.  Thanks, guys!

You’ve probably heard of these guys.  They do an YouTube series called Marble Hornets, and let me tell you that watching it alone at night is probably one of the worst things you can do.  This web series is terrifying.  Slenderman?  No thank you.

I’ll admit it.  I am a huge fan of M. Night Shyamalan’s earlier works.  The Village is one of my absolute favorites.  At first, I was very disappointed by the “twist” at the end, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve grown to appreciate the movie more for what it is.  It’s an incredibly interesting and well-executed concept.  I also loved seeing Adrien Brody play Noah.  He did a fantastic job with a kind of character who isn’t often seen in movies in such a way.

Okay, like I said, I am a huge kid at heart.  No October is complete with a Scooby Doo marathon.  Honestly, I really don’t think anyone ever outgrows those meddling kids or their dog.

Another great vampire classic, Interview with the Vampire.  I love how this is actually an autobiography of a vampire.  It’s not just the scary bits.  It goes into what it would be like to live that life.  It’s fascinating.  It’s a dark, beautiful, mystifying movie that I would recommend to anyone.  Anne Rice is a great author, and one day, I will finish reading The Vampire Chronicles.

My Ghost Story Caught on Camera.  All I can say is some of these episodes make me want to spray my house down with Holy Water and then never go anywhere ever again.  Seriously, even for skeptics, this is a really creepy show.  Real people with real photographs and videos of unexplained figures and anomalies.  It really makes you think.

The pumpkin carving classic for my family, It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown.  This is the movie we watch every year on the day before Halloween.  How anyone can not love this movie is beyond me.

“I got a rock.”

“If you try to hold my hand, I’ll slug you!”

“Awwwwwww!  You didn’t tell me you were gonna kill it!!!!”

My absolute favorite M. Night Shyamalan movie, Signs.  It’s actually one of my sister’s favorite movies of all time.  She is scared to death of aliens, and this movie freaks her out to no end, but she seriously loves it.  The scariest part for me is the scene when you can hear the aliens just outside on the porch, hitting wind chimes as they pass by the windows!

This next movie is actually the scariest in my opinion, because it could actually happen.  I’m a believer in alien life, but not so much in alien invasions (though I am convinced I saw a UFO when I was 5).  I’m a believer in demons and ghosts, but I believe that my faith in God will protect me from demons and if there are ghosts in my house, I’m pretty sure they’re friendly.  The Strangers, however?  Home invasions?  No way.  Feeling threatened in the one place you’re supposed to have complete and utter sanctuary?  Having someone break into my house is probably one of my absolute biggest fears.

So, if home invasions are my biggest real fear, my biggest fake/monster fear is ZOMBIES.  I am absolutely terrified of zombies the way that my sister is absolutely terrified of aliens.  I think it has something to do with them being empty shells.  You can’t reason with them.  You can’t talk to them.  There is no humanity left at all.  That being said, I love The Walking Dead.  I actually began watching it because I’m so scared of zombies and I guess I’m kind of a masochist.  The number of nightmares I have has gone up considerably since I started watching, but you know what?  It’s such a good show that I don’t even care.  By the way, I totally watch for the zombies, and not for Daryl Dixon.

Okay, here’s another movie that you should never watch alone at night.  Paranormal Activity.  Now, I’m not sure how many bad sequels this movie has spawned, but they all sucked.  The first one, however, genuinely scared the living daylights out of me.  I first saw it around midnight a few Halloweens back.  My friends and I were screaming so much, I woke up with a sore throat the next day.

Finally, I saved the absolute best Halloween movie for last… Hocus Pocus!!!  I feel like nothing I say can do this movie justice.  It’s simply the best.  I’ve already watched it once this year and it’s only the second day of October.  I’ll probably watch it at least two or three more times before Halloween actually gets here.  One of my  best friends has actually never seen it, so that needs to be remedied immediately.  How can you live 25 years an NOT watch the best Halloween movie of all time?  Seriously, there is nothing I don’t love about this movie.

You may have noticed that I left one Halloween cult classic off the list.  Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas.  While I am a huge fan of the opening number, This is Halloween, I hate to say that I have never been able to get into this movie.  I’ve tried!  Believe me, I’ve tried!  So many of my friends just rave about it!  I guess I’m just not a Tim Burton fan.  I mean, I enjoy Edward Scissorhands and I liked his version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory better than the creepy original, but for some reason, I just get bored during most of his stuff.  I didn’t even try to watch Frakenweenie, however, because the freaking previews made me cry.

Happy October, everyone!

PS – I have sold 97 copies of Cemetery Tours!  Anyone want to help make that an even 100?  It’s on sale!  😉

http://www.amazon.com/Cemetery-Tours-Jacqueline-E-Smith/dp/0989673405/ref=sr_1_1_bnp_1_pap?ie=UTF8&qid=1380739397&sr=8-1&keywords=cemetery+tours