How M. Night Shyamalan Got His Groove Back

Okay, so my sister and I have this tradition around Christmastime.  It’s called Double Movie Day.  The day before Christmas Eve, we pick out two movies and spend the entire day at the theater.  Last year, we saw The Theory of Everything and Night at the Museum 3.

This year, we decided to push Double Movie Day up a few months because A) my sister was home for the weekend B) and we had two movies that we REALLY wanted to see.

The movies we saw fit right in with the impending Halloween season: The Perfect Guy and The Visit.

As usual, this post WILL contain spoilers.  However, given that one of the films is an M. Night Shyamalan production, I will do my best to keep them to a minimum.

Thoughts on The Perfect Guy

• This movie kind of looks like an adaptation of The Guardian by Nicholas Sparks.
• It also kind of looks like a high-budget Lifetime Movie.
• I can’t wait.
• Script is a little weak at first, but it tells us what we need to know.  Leah wants to get married and have kids.  Dave doesn’t.  So she ends it.  Fair enough.  Sorry, Dave.  You blew it.
• Even though I know from the previews that Carter is a creepy psychopathic stalker, the guy playing him is really attractive.
• His character, however, is so smooth you know that something’s off about him.
• Public bathroom inside a hole-in-the-wall dance club.  Perfect place to consummate a relationship.
• AW, she has an orange kitty named Rusty.  I had an orange kitty named Rusty!
• Oh PLEASE don’t let anything bad happen to Rusty!
• I don’t think I even need to talk about how fast you run after you see your boyfriend beat someone else to a pulp.
• Leah, no.  Do not listen to your friend.  She is giving you terrible advice.
• Karen, you’re the worst friend ever.
• No!  I KNEW that sicko would take Rusty!  I knew it!  Poor kitty!
• Oh, good.  Dave is back.  I like Dave.
• Leah is not a believable single woman.  If my cat was missing, I wouldn’t know how to function.  I wouldn’t be able to live.  I would be curled up in a ball, crying, until she came home.
• WTF. WHAT. NO. *Spoiler*
• I feel like this entire movie is a commentary on how the system can’t help victims of stalking/harassment until something bad has already happened.  Leah knows Carter is dangerous.  She knows he’s stalking her.  He has gone out of his way to ruin her ENTIRE life and everything she’s worked for.  But the way the system is set up, no one can actually help her until he does something dangerous and drastic.
• I do like how the detective is really trying to help her.
• This is like Criminal Minds with a really good-looking unsub.
• The house Leah lives in is actually really creepy.  It’s all modern and designer with really big open windows.  I could never live in a house like that.  I wouldn’t feel safe at all.  Plus it’s just not very cozy or homey.
• I do like the pool though.
• Provoking crazy people. Such a terrible idea.
• Oh thank GOD she got Rusty back!
• Again, you go, girl.

Thoughts on The Visit

• Okay, M. Night. I love The Sixth Sense, Signs, and The Village.  It’s been a while.  I’m expecting good things.  Good scary things.
• Small white child rapping.  Stop.  Please.  Stop.
• Aw, I like the snow.  I know I won’t like it when it’s falling from the sky in February, but since it’s between the months of September and December, I like snow.
• Old people houses are so creepy in movies.  What’s the deal?
• Granted, this is supposed to be a creepy movie so I get it.
• Bedtime at 9:30 and no wifi? That’s a horror movie in and of itself.
• OLD LADY VOMITING NOOOOOO. EWWWWWW.
• OMG the game of hide and seek?  This movie is already terrifying.
• I’m really seeing a lot of classic M. Night in this movie.  Rural setting.  Isolated.  Inside a home where you’re supposed to feel safe.  Eerie nighttime noises that let you know that you’re not alone in the house and that whatever is in there with you is REALLY EFFING CREEPY.
• I bet the lady playing the grandma had so much fun filming this movie.  It’s probably not often that she gets to scare the pants off of people.  She’s such a cute lady.
• Okay, I’m beginning to get the impression that the mom is a huge flake.
• Trying to figure out what the twist will be.  Thinking it probably has something to do with demons or witchcraft or maybe an ancient spell discovered at the well.  There’s sort of an underground/water theme going on.
• I know the grandma is kind of the possessed one, but the grandpa is freaking me out too.
• Okay, this might not be the scariest M. Night film of all time, but I think it’s the one that scares me the most and it’s because your grandparents are supposed to love you and take care of you.  They’re not supposed to scare you.
• Okay, I’ve got to know what this gossip is that everyone keeps talking about.
• What.  WHAT.  WHATTTTTTT.
• OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG.
• I am freaking out right now.  I’m not even kidding you.  This is terrifying.  OMG.  OMG.
• No no no no no no no no no no.
• I might just be scarred for life after this movie.  Oh my God.
• Hey, lady next to me on your cell phone.  SHUT UP.
• Good she hung up.
• I cannot get over this movie.
• Aw, this is kind of sad.
• OH MY GOD ARE YOU SERIOUS. YOU’RE ON YOUR CELL PHONE AGAIN?!
• I am throwing some SERIOUS shade at you, lady.
• So rude.
• Oh, no.  White child is rapping again.  I’m out.

In short, I can highly recommend both of these movies.  With The Perfect Guy, you kind of know what you’re getting, but it’s still definitely worth the watch.  I want my mom to see it.  It’s right up her alley.  As far as The Visit goes?  Congratulations, M. Night.  You once again blew my mind, scared me half to death, and kept me lying awake until odd hours of the night telling myself over and over again that there were no creepy old ladies crawling down my hall.