It’s late and I need to be asleep, but while I was browsing GoodReads instead of getting ready for bed, I noticed something. There are a lot of zombie books out there. The ones I’ve read are written in first person perspective and it really got me thinking. What would life actually be like in the event of a zombie apocalypse? What would I be like?
It took about half a second to realize exactly what my experience in the zombie apocalypse would be, so I thought I’d write it down before I lost it.
My Experience in the Zombie Apocalypse
Mruuuuughhhhhhhrrrrrrggghrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr grhhhhuuhhu uuuuhrrhrhrhrhgggghhhmmm hhhhhhmmmmmggggggrhrrrrrrrrr.
Translation: I’m a zombie.
Mrruhghhghgggghhhhhh mmmmmrrrrrrgggghghgrrgr ggggrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhuuuhghr ghmruhgmrghg. Ngummmrnnrggkkkmmm hurrmrnkrhng.
Translation: Walking is hard. I’m dead.
Uuuuuurrrrrrrrhgghghghgmrmmmrr mrgghughrmgmgughrrrrr mmgguuuuuughrrrr mmgmmughrhrughhhhhhh mgurhhughrmmgughg ggughgmmrrrughghgmr mggmmmrruuuuuuugh.
Translation: I’m going to eat you.
Uurrhrnnnnnnnnrhgggukkk. Mmmmmghghghurrrrrkrnrhghgm nrurhrhrmmmmmmgggggghh huuuuhrhrrmrmrmngngggghk.
Translation: Yum. People are delicious.
Translation: Since I am a little more than an animate, ravenous, decaying corpse, I actually do not possess the ability to form coherent thoughts or make rational decisions, or any decisions at all. I am purely an instinct-driven, mindless body. I don’t even know what a body is. I only know that humans are tasty and I must eat them. I’m not sure why though, because I’m already dead, so what? Will I die again if I don’t consume living humans?
Nnnnnrrrrmmkkkkhrgrrrgrghhrkkrhg mhrrhrkrnmmmmggkkkkkrhhhrrrrrr mrhuhhrmmghrkgmrughm mgurhrkkrhrhhrhrmurrrr.
Translation: Zombie existential crisis.